|
|
|
Beating Middle of the Night Stress
What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night and cannot go back to sleep? Do you lie there tossing, stretch, panic, and feel your heart thumping? Do you notice your own shallow breathing? Do you try futilely to follow the random...
Long Distance Relationships - Not Always a Bad Thing
You hate it, but it's happened - the love of your life has to travel abroad. Will it be days, weeks, or even months before you'll see them again? Many people have had to face this situation, and what many of them never consider is the ways in which...
The Realities of Your Relationship
Relationship Reality One of my aims in life is to break down any sense that we are alone, that our challenges are in any way unique or special. It’s all just stuff that gets in the way of us being our best, but just like gum on your shoe, it can be...
To Love Or To Be In Love
What is the basic difference between loving someone and being in love with the person? Before we can be sure that we have found true love, we need to be sure what these two terminologies mean. Is it possible to meet someone, connect with the...
Why Other Children are Rejecting Your Child
Introduction Developing healthy peer relationships is critical for the normal development of a child. Peer relationships have been found to be an important predictor of positive adult adjustment and behavior. Difficulty in finding friends...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Relationship Lost Its Spark?
A Mechanical Metaphor
Over the years of reading self-help books, it’s become obvious to me that I rarely find
one that I could get my Dad, or most other men, to read. They’re just not written in a
way that men can relate to. Interestingly, I’ve noticed that computer and other gadget
companies are beginning to catch on to this fact. When we unwrap our latest piece of
high-tech gadgetry, we now have a choice to opt for the Quick Start Guide or plough
our way through the entire manual. For most of us men, that’s a no brainer. We want
to play with the toy, not find out how to build it.
My Dad is a mechanic and he taught me that given a few basic tools and a decent skill
set most things can be fixed. When it comes to engines he is a genius. He can tell you
what’s wrong with your car by just listening to it. His skill is so fine-tuned; he can
diagnose your car trouble over the phone. Grown men used to bring their cars over to
him in tears, convinced this was finally the end. My Dad would take it to bits, figure
out if a fuel line was blocked, determine if there was too much friction in one area, or
if there was not enough connection in another. Then he’d put it back together and just
like magic, the car would run again. To my father engines were predictable; he knew
what to look for.
Take the spark plug. If it stops sparking, your engine stops running and your wheels
stop turning. To a mechanic, it’s very predictable that your spark plugs will last only a
certain amount of miles and then need replacing. So given that a spark plug will cost
you about £3.50 (let’s not talk about the labour costs), how many of you would
divorce your car at this point? No you wouldn’t, because you understand that your car
is a sizable investment.
For
some reason, we fail to apply the same logic to our relationships. People start
talking about how they’ve lost the spark or they’ve got communication issues as
reasons to leave. We forget all the time and energy invested in getting to this point
and all we can think about is running for the hills. It’s worth noting at this point that
“leaving” happens on many levels and even the subtle withdrawals damage our
relationships. I know this because I’ve done it myself. In fact, given my own wiring
I’m still prone to want to bolt when it gets rough.
This power struggle is a totally predictable piece of relating with your loved one. It’s
the time when Mr. or Mrs. Perfect suddenly becomes one of your parents or an
ex-partner. For some complicated, yet unavoidable reason, this is always going to
happen. The best news is that the only way out is through.
Sometimes we just need some basic tools and good skills. You can visit my website
for suggestions of great books to get you up to speed.
http://www.thegreatrelationshipcoach.com/stuff.htm
I guarantee that a relationship filled with romance and passion is more fun than most
gadgets. And remember, if you’re going to get expert help make sure you find
someone who believes in fixing the relationship you are in. There are plenty of
cowboys all to ready to sell you a new car.
About the Author
© Copyright 2003 by Michael Myerscough ‘The Great Sex Coach’. All Rights
Reserved. May be freely copied and distributed as long as you include the following
information: "By Michael Myerscough, professional speaker and relationship success
coach. Michael has lots of great tips, tools and articles on his website that you can use.
Visit him at www.thegreatsexcoach.com and sign up for his free newsletter.
|
|
|
|
|
|
